The Gallery of Henri Beauchamp

This is the story of a girl. She is no ordinary female, however. She is, at first glance, the most beautiful and attractive girl you will have ever met in your life. She has every trait a man could want. She has a magnificent body, a wonderful personality, an unbeatable sense of humor, a kind heart, and she is extremely intelligent. There is but one way to make this girl yours, and you must follow these instructions exactly. It may seem a simple task, but it is far more treacherous than any tall, anorexic man with a complexion condition you may ever come to face in the woods or any pale faced, 17 year old Joker fanatic you could ever have the privilege of seeing at the foot of your bed. No this girl is much different. There are 8 steps you must follow precisely to make this girl yours, so precisely in fact that I would advise you to take this with you when attempting the trial. 1. Make sure its her. You don't want to be performing some mystical trials you found on the internet to some random chick you thought was hot. She often roams outside flower shops, jewelry stores, and beauty salons, mocking those earthly and mortal possessions that will never be as valuable or fair as she. This girl will appear as I stated before. She changes with every man (or woman). To whomever she meets, she will be the most attractive person that individual could ever dream of. Upon approaching said woman, even her age will change to match the exact date, hour, and second of your own. Aphrodite herself wields no chance of competition. She will be wearing, regardless of the season, a light blue loose long sleeve shirt. She will have on black skinny jeans. The clothing does not have a brand. She is wearing two diamond earrings and a bracelet with several colored, pearl cubes on the loop. Every cube is a different color. 2. Approach her confidently. This is crucial, and I don't mean that as in YOU'LL FRICKIN DIE IF YOU DON'T, but she may wave you off. All women like a confident man, especially the perfect one. When you get to her, provided that you look confident (not douche bag confident but enough), she will simply look at you and await your first words. You must utter this sentence exactly. 'I have come to earn the perfect partner. Does she accept my trial?' If she does she will simply state 'The trial has been accepted. It shall begin at [local restaurant name] at 8:00 PM.' If she does not she'll just reject you. If you are rejected, you will never see this girl waiting outside any store ever again. She will leave your life completely, because although you thought you had chosen to interact with her, it was really she who had chosen you. You will, in turn, spend the rest of your life seeing every other girl as nowhere in comparison. You will live an existence of regret, depression, and self-destruction. 3. First date. You must arrive at the restaurant by 8:00 PM or you will never see her again. Don't worry about reservations or anything. They are already placed. When you see her, be casual, confident, and friendly. It wouldn't hurt to look good either. Don't worry about the mystical talk anymore. Everything from now on will be as if she was just a normal date aside from a few exceptions later on. Be casual, funny, considerate, happy, and charming. Have fun, but above all, DO NOT MAKE HER SAD. To know how to get around this ask her 'What elements of this world bring your soul pain?' She will list you everything that makes her unhappy, angry, sad, depressed, and just plain not happy. For the next nine dates you will need to know these. Feel free to list them as she tells you. It is crucial you don't make her upset. If you do AT ANY POINT skip to the end. 4. You will have set up a second date by the end of the first one. If you didn't then you have the wrong mythical girl, because this one will have set a second date. Do the same as the first. Just have fun. You may have noticed by now that she never seems to smile. She may smirk, but she never smiles. She even seems to laugh without smiling. This comes into play later. After the date is when t